Priorities

immediate focus detail

The way

Shared discovery and realization of the ultimate

in the pure dimensions of experiential being in form and formation as the world…

… and the pragmatic dimensions of the world as nature-psyche, civilization-culture-artifact, and the universal

Life – Now

Essentials – to remain under review

center withdraw (forest, no phone or different #) place-ment f twb-publish in the world $-work practice clear speech- thought relationships

deadlines, issues – currently under review

in the world / freedom from r; set him or myself or both free / forest // add points (incl consideration of blue items), but minimize the number of deadlines, dates

Ground (human and material foundation)

enjoyment

pleasure-pain – therapy-being on the way

place, nature, community (and relationships)

discovery trips

relationships

my problem

of course everything in my life that I experience in my life is my problem for the essence of removing the problem is be in a state of dealing with it while it lasts… and dealing has a number of aspects (i) reflection (ii) resolution—self, other, the situation

problem of negativity

he is destructive in my life (demeaning, presumptive, sometimes hostile without input, but denies it; I know there’s caring, some unawareness / denial, but there’s also ignorance and ego); I have tried internal resolution and talking (but he feels attacked, attacks in return, puts all blame on me—with which I disagree but have kept quiet to placate); I don’t feel hopeful for resolution—it’s been going on for 20 years; the options, regardless of responsibility (‘blame’) are (i) live with it, continue to attempt (calm) internal resolution (my definite issues—‘ego strength’) and talking (risking outrage and alienation) (ii) terminate the relation, at least temporarily

my life is negatively colored by interactions with two people; regarding r—

temporary solution—(i) live with it, sustain anxiety, be neutral, while realizing my goals, till I know how to resolve it—write out my position succinctly and truthfully with sufficient detail to explain all essentials and anticipate objections (ii) truthfully, at this time my life would be better without him in it (g as well) (iii) bottom line—I don’t have to put up with it

general solution—even if they are causal, but even if they are causal, the problem is mine and me—especially in responsibility for change

particular solutions

therapy—short term, other, self—e.g., let the anxiety happen, itself and reflexively… routine, the way, exercise, eat well, not drink

therapy, long term—what is the negative reaction (and its source)… how to resolve? this is still unsolved; potential solutions—(a) speak (r), but how, for it hasn’t worked so far, ¿show him his negative judgmentalism? (b) present the essentials of twb vs secular life as one damn thing after the other

avoid—move home, talk less, cut off

feel, engage neutrally

see them as being there for me, ¿acting from their framework?

decrease meds

some detail

you reactively minimize almost everything others (I) say, whether about myself or general topics

you project unfounded superiority (early compensation for parental put down), explicit and implicit, which you apparently cannot avoid (expulsive reaction to retentive reaction to parent), which is often harsh – sarcastic (later denied as la de da or ‘I was only joking’—as if ‘be rational’ said harshly is joking), and advisory as if you have decided to be my parent

you project unawareness of yourself, but you do know it, but minimize, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”; in fact old dogs do learn new tricks when there is no one who accepts those tricks

and even if I could use parenting (if), I reject your (possible) setting yourself up as parental (or, perhaps you are so full of yourself, like dad, you think you are an expert on other people (and more))

when you ask questions about me, it seems casual and out of interest and caring, which may be true and good, but, in effect it is also probing…

there is just so often an agenda (not explicitly stated) “is little ani happy” (judgmental because whay would I not be happy unless I say so), but it is not just that but “is he happy according to social norms” (i.e., surrogate for “my norms”, projected), and therefore the questions are probing, not ‘innocent’, but there is an agenda, there is unfounded negative judgment

I am not criticizing the norms—negative or positive; rather I am pointing out that you are judging according to limited norms—which I do criticize in itself and as destructive

but I cannot even pretend to agree with the application of the norms to me, for (i) you would get a false belief about me (ii) I would then be constrained to hold the pretense as true (iii) I would be pretending so as to allow you to sustain your norm

about ‘what do you plan for christmas’

you can assume for the entire future of Christmases, birthdays, etc, that what I do is (i) what I enjoy, what is healthy, what I find useful, and not what is one social norm—but if you are concerned whether I’m happy, why not just ask instead of deciding which formula to apply (ii) not eat too much, get drunk, and pretend we are enjoying ourselves, (iii) that said, celebrations are good, and I’m not objecting to others celebrating in any way they want (of course without harming others), whenever they want, but I do object to them projecting their needs – wants – desires on me (or the world) as though that is reality

I am doing what I want and am happy with it, I enjoy Christmas but also other things, so it is a choice, tell the story of my meditations on separation anxiety and their success; why would you assume this is not a choice or that I need celebration or people or, this year, that I want it

902 N St

things to be addressed (i) back window (ii) back gate (front?) (iii) drier (iv) dining room light (v) bathroom sink (vi) the fact that putting it all off will likely build up to an overwhelming point

how to have a conversation

to be developed; but note that the dad – montu style never gets anywhere—and this is mostly the style of my conversations with others; the alternative is the style of Make Prayers to the Raven

quora

finance, save, work, income; health

exercise, mole, medication level

diet—get food amounts right—(i) a few days prep @ a time (ii) bulk foods—rest | exercise days

discipline—routine-variation; less dissipation

accept transience, responsibility for self

netflix, quora, beer…

Develop-execute the way

develop > study-experience-publish travel-immerse enjoy-share culture, nature – pack lite, chisel

execute > nature—living – ‘forest’, immersion, beyul

world as found – physical, living, experiential

execute > civilization—immersion, political economics, science, technology – sustaining and realizing

world we build as our niche – psyche, culture-artifact represent beings – world – process

execute > the universal—yoga-reason; sharing

world as we become it in limitlessness—phasing between peak-identity and dissolved phases

Notes

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Today

Every day

Affirm the way-dedicate-set attitude-review timing

dedication-affirmation.pdf

attitude—meditative presence, neutral engagement, awareness without judgment of self or other, patience > integrity of identity

Home

Opt meditate–first x (stretch-wts-walk-reflect) ______

Music | Develop-execute the way ______________

this > the way > phil > ek (dnld sep) > site > execute

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Ground to do – pm, set aside days ______________

place, nature, community

guyana-living; fair $460-consulate ______________

hum-trin us mex world-study; use trips to eval

trip-hike – step back – review

eureka, arcata, humboldt, and area

hikes and climbs; places to live

willow creek and area

hikes and climbs; places to live

weaverville and area

hikes and climbs; places to live

redwood national park

707 464 6101—map a trip; get (call for) for info “bridges” “flows” “roads” “climbs”; get permits online or at reserve california, 800 444 7275

king range and lost coast

707 986 5400, blm arcata 707 825 2300 | sinkyone wilderness – visitor center 707 247 3318

crescent city (CC)

buses – greyhound, arcata, 707 825 8934; m-f 8-12, 1-5, sat 8:30-10; to points north, depart 10 am 5:50 pm $5; from orick for arcata, 8:38 & 4:26 pm; from CC for arcata, 7:30 am, 3:00 pm

booking.com motels in crescent city

taxis in CC –coastal cab 707 458 5708 | del norte taxi 707 464 6030 | comfort cab 707 218 7979 | abc cab 707 464 6506

trails around CC city–boyscout trail, howland hill rd east, ~ 5 mi | stout grove | howland hill rd e, ~ 7 mi

gear-home – review

purpose-principle; pack lite; chisel; try out all gear (i) excel (ii) weight, food (iii) chisel trip

places to live (see trips, above)

new apartments, 9th and C, Eureka

health

exercise, mole, medication level, elim hctz

half-life of losartan is 2 hours with the terminal half-life of the metabolites being longer at 6–9 hours; when dosed twice a day, its blood pressure lowering is equivalent to other arb’s given once a day—from fifteen years of losartan… what have we learned about losartan that can benefit chronic kidney disease patients; summary: losartan has benefits the newer arb’s don’t and it might be more effective if taken two times a day (half doses?)

hydrochlorothiazide has a half-life of 6 to 15 hours; might also be effective two times a day

computer

align printer; remote connection, transfer files—how to get the computers to talk

study topics

import topics from system, plan

topics for metaphysics, the way, general logic

atheism…

world problems and opportunities, epidemiology

html (collapse), see plan for more html, etc

benefits for seniors—area 1 agency on aging | agingcare.com

Tasks _____________________________ thursday

get food, supplies, clean, laundry __________ more

hair,-feet | meals cook-freeze bhoona-pulse | supplies fluids nuts grains pulses green-veg raw-fruit coffee oil spice / cleaners / paper / food storage / meds / toilet / stamps envelopes cards /print paper | maintain clothes gear bike | chisel home

in house supplies for a week—estimate—breakfast granola 4c, vitamins, powdered milk 2c - 2/3 c to 1c water… or storable almond and other milk, coffee ¾lb | lunch 2c ea—nuts, dried fruit, snacks; food bars | supper—rice 3c, beans 2c, ramen, salt 2oz, spices, fresh and dried veg, meat, tortilla-bread, oil, soup, cheese, desert | water base = 1 gal /day or 7 gals per person

finances—balance, plan, seek work _________ data

robin 2/7, veda elise 8/1, carissa 8/10, Beverly 8/15, stephanie 9/4, kathleen 11/8, wendy – get

year—tax, xmas, birthday ________________ data

robin 2/7, veda elise 8/1, carissa 8/10, Beverly 8/15, stephanie 9/4, kathleen 11/8, wendy – get

acquire—padded pants, umbrella, grip strngth, travel duffel, torx-ace ________________________ more

spoon, funnel

instant alt foods coop online dehydrate—universal backpacking food

spanish dvd, weinberg—cosmology, quantum theory of fields, isbn

software—cad, engineering, math, sagemath, web dev, publishing, multimedia, blogware, css, html, web prog, c++, remote publication, cloud storage, blueray

camera, memory cards, batteries; smart / travel phone, solar battery charger

clio faux leather jacket, boots, pants, dkny jeans, shirts, padded pants, sleepware, iron and board, flannel bedsheets pillow cases, towels, small mirror

writing board, deck chair, portable outdoor table, chairs, wood blocks 8" x 8" x 1"

kettle, china bowls, josuma coffee co https://josumacoffee.bigcartel.com/, https://www.josuma.com/

Yoga—alt first x | meditate-reflect-realize _________

Lunch ______________________________________

Hike-bike-walk 2+ hrs ________________________

nature, town, reflect, photography—nature, city wildlife, streets

PM—rest reflect realize, this, ntwrk _____________

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______________________ no quora etc – how to not drink

Sleep early ___________________________________

Travel – immersion

The aim and principle ________________________

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Main _____________________________________

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Investigate ________________________________

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Meals ____________________________________

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Prepare for the next day ______________________

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