,

The way—life, death, and beyond—realization of limitlessness—dimensions: psyche, nature-culture-society, the universal

Mindfulness—attitude-action—meditative-active being in the experiential-pragmatic and limitless world

Nature, culture, and society—the world as found and made—immersion in nature and culture—living and travel

Reflection, sharing, writing, and publishing

The universal—the limitless world as we are and become it

Projects (develop-write, immersion-travel, publish-share)

Developing the way—intrinsically-instrumentally and attitudinally-actively, in all pure and pragmatic dimensions of being

Travel (cur trips-hike list-prep-bus: humb-trin-gdocs)—Jan 1, 2022 (review) (i) one year isolation (ii) nature-culture journeys

A year’s isolation _______________________________________________________________________________________

Nature, culture journeys _________________________________________________________________________________

Publish—study-reflect-write: bare content > essay, minimal site > write-in-the-world > access, site, advertise-publicize-talks

The narrative

the way of being – contents

into the way

the world

the way

into the world

the way of being – narrative

this workspace is currently minimal

into the way

the world

the way

into the world

Reading list—logic, free will, add __________________________________________________________________________

Activities—essential (mainly experiential and spiritual) and supporting (mainly material)

Spiritual, inner, timeless

Meditation – Shamatha—emptying, calming; Vipasana—reflecting, redirecting

Attitude (also see ‘Today’)

Meditative presence—aware, relaxed, reflective, and no mind

Music

Hiking and serious exercise

Sleep deprivation and pattern alteration

No drinking

Neutral engagement (background)—disengage, have – request listening – assert and request boundaries, limits

Proper or appropriate engagement—when engagement is full and trans-ego

Awareness of state neutral vs judgmental state > affirm positive, redirect negative

Hold without judging, breath, relax muscles, tolerate, examine – it’s me, not others > (re)direct, two-minute meditation-stretch > kindness to, do not avoid self or other – we’re all trying > dedicate to the ultimate > move on

Patience > Integrity of identity

Work on integrity; patience with pain; healthy behavior; work on independence from affirmation by others

Material, outer, temporal (also see projects…, below). Events

Life ______________________________________________________________________________________________

Annual—tax, Christmas, Robin 2/7, Veda Elise 8/1, Carissa 8/10, Beverly 8/15, Kathleen 11/8, Wendy 11/21 __________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Month, bi-week, week _______________________________________________________________________________

Sunday—relax _____________________________________________________________________________________

Thu / Sat—Chores (repeated in today) > This > Hair, feet > Clean > Cash > Supplies – for cooking – what I have, pulses, grains, vegetables, nuts, tortillas, yogurt | cleaners – paper food-storage | meds, toilet| stamps, envelopes, cards | maintain clothes, gear, bike __________________________________________________________________________

Current plans—(essentials, travel, health, people)

Essential—min this | step back-review trip | know-dedicate-direct pain+ | work-$30K-counsel | place travel base – humboldt trinity us mex world | 2022—year’s isolation, nature-culture journeys | 18 φ ca

Calendar—year – taxes, birthdays, Christmas | develop below

Develop and place calendar here

Travel, immersion, plan & prep next > do it now > Hike daily > USFS > pack > cash, laundry, bank > pack, min > fresh veg

Planning (when, where, future trips)

When… criteria: weather…

Where… research… RNP, W Ck, Six Rivers, Trinity – Junction City campground (call JC Store) – ride to trail heads (night at or hear trail head), HWY 3…

Future trips—backpacking and biking

Preparation—when written, put essentials into main heading ‘Next trip’, above

Minimizing gear means saving time

Misc—dye; umbrella / hat; organize and minimize stuff sacks and plastic bags; shaver (new, try out)

Efficiency and weight—fasten side pocket; loose pants; wind vs reg pants; no rain pants; less food, fuel; sneakers vs sandals; bivvy—clothes peg, stakes, guy line, what are the attachments for; med sack; water sack? papers; cook kit; just one toothpaste

Priorities (from the previous trip > modify for next trip)

General—How, what to realize, reflect

The way, share, publish

Dedication

Life problems (sibling)

My life

The way, above

$ Work, other

Place, general

Eureka, Arcata Humboldt Del Norte, Trinity CA, US Mexico, World Isolation, 6 months, 1 year+

Intrinsic

Meditate, nature watch

Hike

Extrinsic

X, stretch

Hike

Weaverville

Realtors

Internet

Word of mouth

Apartments

Health—posture, exercise > water, one meal a day (diet research: home and packing) > meds (0.5 tab), sugar, mole, no beer

People—R > 0.5 h prep, 1 day / month, no deferment; boundaries | G > neutrally | S > deal, dismiss | C > her initiative

Robin—next conversation—most important—writing, becoming, immersion – nature and culture

Robin—the current issue of advice etc and its impact on me, a simple account (Color code—what I must, will, may, or must not or perhaps should not say)

The issue of advice…

If I don’t resolve this, I’ll never be free

First, I love you

Approach I—just facts and taking responsibility (b u)

Has been going for many years, it is on and off, there has been an intensely negative effect on me (my life, efficiency, health), I have brought it up, but, apparently, not firmly or clearly enough…

I don’t say it is the sole cause, but there is a definite connection, and I have tried to resolve the negative aspect ‘internally’

I have not been looking forward to calls

Not sure why I have allowed it—family, unclear thinking, letting it slide, enjoy talking to you often, know that one of your reasons is caring

It became severe recently, a week before my recent vacation to Weaverville, and I decided I am not going to have this anymore—I will not have this for the remaining 20 or so years of my life

I’m not sure it makes sense to ask you to stop it, you haven’t, you seem to think you have a right (even if so, that doesn’t make it right), sometimes you can’t help blurting out what you feel, but consider that I have made a request that you stop what I currently identify as a source of negativity—

(i) Probing questions leading to advice or judgment. (ii) Sharing with me (negative and judgmental) judgment of my life and choices. (iii) Advice

Cost – benefit—the cost is immense, and the benefit is less than zero (most of your advice is trivially obvious except on an occasion or two when it was absurd—it ranges from destructive to a waste of time at best)

What I will do

Limit exposure to our interactions to the point that the negative effect is eliminated

I am going to limit Starting now—I want a once a month schedule of calls. I will not call leading up to, during, or around vacations.

I want to restructure the relationship (“Robert Bolton”)

Without assurance that it will not continue, or if it continues, I will avoid exposure to it—I will not call you till I am reassured that it will not continue

Approach II—reading the facts

Here, I hesitate more than above—but not because I think I’m wrong. Rather, I don’t want to get into ‘proof’ for that might get contentious and lead nowhere. Also, I do not want to offend. And nowhere below am I comparing me to you or suggesting I am better…

First, let me tell you what I will mean by ‘judgmental’. It is necessary to do so because the term is used in a number of ways. In my meaning, to be judgmental is the tendency to make judgments in the absence of sufficient information for judgment rendered—i.e., for the situation, and may be projection onto rather than perception of what is judged… and perhaps in terms of norms not applicable to the situation. It is not about judging a situation or person ‘good’ or ‘bad’ because even a poor judgment that something is ‘good’ can be destructive.

There is a difference between showing respect and giving respect (there is overlap). Showing respect is behavioral and somewhat defined by culture. To give respect one must know the other person. Therefore it requires listening without judging (there may be judgment but for the person more than of the person).

But this is difficult because there is a veil between us.

Why are people judgmental? Biological predisposition – personality development and adjustment – incomplete emotional and cognitive development (the nature > cultural > inner > universal arrow stopped at the normal cultural) – nontransferable expertise – short-circuiting the ego – superior-inferior attitude in relation to some people.

The point to follow is not just my opinion, if you are interested, you may read “People Skills”, by Robert Bolton, who has run communication workshops. I am surprised that you do not seem to be aware that being judgmental—and advice giving—can be detrimental to communication in relationships (family and work) and problem solving. Examples—if someone is sharing just to share, being judgmental may break down trust; if the aim is to seek a sounding board, being judgmental cuts off the listener’s being a good effective board by allowing the speaker to speak and think freely.

Anyway—I find you excessively judgmental with me, especially about my life and choices. Sometimes you have been harsh (words and tone of voice), but later minimize content and tone.

The reason I disclose my life and plans is to share. It is about sharing—and a trust. Your judgment is (i) a violation of that trust, (ii) destructive of sharing—you do not listen, so do not receive, but judge projectively, and I now do not want to share, (iii) though issue resolution in my mind is not the intent, your judgments abort any issue resolution that might occur.

Do what you will with this information. I suggest you reflect on it (yes, that is a bit of advice). It may improve your relationship with me. Your judging (trivially obvious to absurd) is at best a waste of time, blocks sharing, is at worst destructive.

It may also help you approach truth beyond the norms and paradigms of the societies in which you have lived. And, yes, it is possible to do that—it is one way that there is cultural change, which is necessary as circumstances change. It is a foundation for an approach to seeing truth beyond the paradigms of one’s time—perhaps even to ultimate truth in some directions.

Internal resolution—this is most important and should come first

After resolution, you might share all you want; I may label it nonsense (the particular advice, the act of advising) or just a waste.

Make a list of my fears

Meditate upon, be at ease with, understand, and perhaps minimize them

Counter the negative, whatever the source with positive messages

Psychology—minimize the ‘other as object’… look at other aspects…

Disclosure—disclose less, be discrete

‘Isolation’ for nature, culture immersion

Structural and external

The retreat (up to a year and more) I would take is not from Robin, but from the constraints on my mind that result from social interaction and fear—especially fear of judgment

I must work on overcoming, neutralizing this fear, not just in retreat but also internally

And maybe the external and internal will become linked

Focus—my life, the way of being (trips, travel, a year’s isolation… other aspects)

The most important activities and values for the remainder of my life (and I doubt I have the full 20 years or so)

My project on discovery and realization of being

Reflection, writing, publishing

Immersion in nature and cultures

Immersion in self—meditation

Live in a place and with people that facilitate the project

Travel

For enjoyment

As part of the project

Be happy

I am reasonably self-sufficient (people lie on a continuum)

Not be unhappy in my relationships (friends, brother, other)

Be useful

I think my project has the potential to be useful

Summary

Some interactions with you have had a severe negative effect on me (mood, life and working on goals, health), this has been on and off for several years – I have brought it up but not been clear or firm enough – it became severe and pervasive recently – I decided before I left on my recent trip to Weaverville that I will not be subject or exposed to this (the remaining 20 or so years of my life—it is not a role I want you to have in my life) – hence I said “I don’t want advice” when I called you in May from Weaverville (the time you said you got “angry”) – I have tried hard over years to resolve the issue internally but not succeeded so far – I have a sinking feeling that the only resolution will be to not talk – but think the only possible permanent alternative will be for me to always be ready to set limits… and provide some tentative limits below

The negative aspects I identify (feel) are (i) probing leading to judgment and advice (ii) judgmental conclusions (i.e., without adequate basis, therefore non-constructive whether ‘negative’ or ‘positive’)—I’m asking you to not share this with me, directly or indirectly (iii) advice

I’m talking about the effect on me—not about you so there’s nothing negative or positive being said about you. There is little point in debating whether you are judgmental or I am sensitive (I have worked on resolution), for the point is that I now know I need to act

What I will do—the principle

Minimize or eliminate exposure that results in the negative effect

What I will do—specifics (I’d rather state this abruptly for now and then to be flexible than vice versa)

I want once a month calls (this also because I want to focus on life and projects), no deferring “I’ll call again on Wednesday”

I will not call leading up to, during, or around trips (one function is to get away from social norms.

I want reassurance you will not give advice etc (A, earlier). If it continues I will not talk till reassured…

If / when you visit—regardless of the situation, I do not want to limit that, even if I am unhappy with things. But I am setting a deadline for myself of January 1 for travel and nature living for a year (health permitting)

Internal resolution—in main priorities.docm

Accept consequences, from you and me, even no more communication

Summary of summary

Internal resolution is most important—representation of self, other in psychic space, to be realistic (especially with regard to not overvaluing what others say) – focus, my life, the way of being, trips, travel, a year’s isolation – be discrete

External resolution—the negative effect has been going on for many years (20), I’ve brought it up, the only time I seem heard is when I get angry or forceful (otherwise I’m ignored), I’ve worked on it internally (without complete success so far), therefore

Even if your advice etc. was brilliant and I could not think it myself, there would be reason to avoid exposure to it. However the advice is either (i) trivially obvious and usually regarding a trivial aspect of life or (ii) absurd. To allow myself to be exposed to it would be self-destructive, to insist on it suggests you are extremely overbearing and presumptuous.

I must act decisively (frequency of calls—especially because of the cost to my life ambition, consequences for negative effect measured by—for now—probing with judgmentalism and advice, issue of visiting)

Today

Attitude Patience > identity integrity . Meditative presence >> neutral engagement . Awareness > redirect _____ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Wake Dedicate-affirm Rise. Water . Music . Review life, the way, the day . times-alarms ___

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Projects and activities, above, especially bare content __________hrs. ____________________________________

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Continue projects after _________ below _________________________________________________________

Walk . Stretch, weights, grip, knee bends . Meditate . Lunch _________________

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Chores for the day (Sun—relax, Tue—R) _________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ Thu / Sat—Chores

Thu / Sat—Chores > This > Hair, feet > Clean > Cash > Supplies – for cooking – what I have, pulses, grains, vegetables, nuts, tortillas, yogurt | cleaners – paper food-storage | meds, toilet| stamps, envelopes, cards | maintain clothes, gear, bike ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Exercise TTHSAT ____________ &OR Walk-bike with nature photography MWF _______________________

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PM PMX . Review this-print, rest-shr Realize projects . engage . meditate | φ beer-movie

prep for tomorrow > teeth ____________________________________________________________ Sleep _

Notes… ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

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